Idol's Final Five: What Needs to Happen, What Probably Will, and What We Can Do About It (Nothing!)

We're finally down to the final five, that austere moment in the Idolverse where we start widdling down the really great contestants to get to the okay contestant that will win the show. I kid, I kid. (But seriously, let's be honest with ourselves about the quality of the last couple of winners of this show!) With Elise's unceremonious departure following two of her better performances, Skylar's SHOCKING appearance in the bottom three after one of her very best, and Phillip's amazing ability to skate by on sub-par jam band songs with a wink and a smile I'm starting to feel a little nervous about where we're heading. I really don't know who that second person in the finale is going to be for the first time in a while, and I don't think anyone can beat Phillip.

Don't get me wrong: I rag on Phillip/Dave, but I like him okay. I'd probably buy his record if he proves astute in song-writing, but how depressing would it be to see another cute white guy with a guitar win the show and sell 150,000 copies of his debut record? For singing reality shows to continue (and there are some of us that still like them!), shows like Idol and The Voice need to produce popstars with radio-friendly potential. I genuinely love a lot of the singer-songwriters that Idol has produced (I'm thinking of the underrated post-Idol efforts of Crystal Bowersox, Brooke White, Michael Johns, Katelyn Epperly, Tim Halperin, and even David Cook and Kris Allen), and I look forward to future releases from the likes of Elise Testone, Colton Dixon, and Phillip Phillips, but I want someone with pop potential like Skylar, Hollie, or Jessica to win the show. Scotty McCreery, in spite of the boring way he played Idol, has been good for business; David Cook, Kris Allen, and Lee Dewyze have not. Idol needs another Jordin Sparks, pronto. (Btw, is anyone else REALLY excited about Jordin's new movie remake, Sparkle? Seriously, watch the trailer! "Why would the Lord give me this gift if I wasn't supposed to use it?" Get it, Jordin! I digress.)

I would never leave you without a solution to the problem of this season's deserved Idol winner, though, now would I? As I see it, that solution is Skylar Laine. No matter what happens in the next four weeks of this show, it seems almost a sure thing that Skylar's going to have a music career, post-Idol. Frankly, she's the kind of artist 19 has been looking for. She's only (just) 18 (as the show likes to remind us), but she's a more mature singer/performer/show-woman (not a word in my computer's dictionary, although "showman" is. Hmmm) than many Idol teens that have come before her, and according to Jimmy, she writes, too. She hasn't had a bad performance in weeks, and her performance of Queen's "The Show Must Go On" last week was kind of legend. As J-Lo pointed out last week (and I pointed out six weeks ago. Just sayin'), she's a great storyteller, which is 90% of why she's believable as a country singer. Plus, anyone that can make me like/download "Wind Beneath My Wings" must be an evil genius.

I shouldn't have to sell Skylar to you at this point in the competition, though. If you're like me, you've probably already chosen your favorite, and it either includes the country vixen or it doesn't. These kids aren't earning more fans at this point: they're simply trying to keep their fanbases from getting apathetic. I'm just saying that Skylar is crazy-marketable and she's going to have a huge career no matter what the speed-dialling teens do this season. According to Billboard, Kellie Pickler is the fourteenth best-selling Idol artist ever, and she finished in sixth place.*** Also, lest we forget, Miranda Lambert got started on a reality show, too. On the USA Network. And she was third. (If you haven't seen Miranda's Nashville Star performances before, this one is fab.) It probably won't happen, but my point is that it would just be awesome to see a winner in the Skylar mould. Dare to dream. Fangirl rant over.

Before I wrap up this little soapbox (and if you're still reading, good for you!), I also wanted to add a little word about the other three contestants, any of which would be fabulous winners this season, as well. I'm still waiting for Joshua to sing something I want to listen to over and over again, although that India.Arie song was lovely. I can't really fault him for being himself, though. He's undoubtedly a great singer, and I look forward to seeing what he can do with it next.

Jessica is definitely getting better, post-elimination/save, showing (probably!) real emotion with that wonky "Dance with My Father" song (the horrible silhouette behind her did no one any favors). Whether you like her, find her robotic, or both (I think that's where I am with her), you can't deny how special her voice is. With the right songs, she could have a huge career after this thing is done.

I saved Hollie for last because she's become a little bit of a loveable underdog for me lately. I think her "Rollin' in the Deep" performance last week was shockingly good, and I actually loved both of her performances this week. "The Climb" is the PERFECT (pehr-fehct?) song choice for her because she can sing over it rather than up to it. She's finally starting to show some of her adorable personality in her performances (even though her wardrobe situation is still a strange mix of business casual and pageant-wear), she no longer looks terrified onstage, and she's singing really well. It's likely too little too late to compete with the others, but I wouldn't be upset to see her stay a couple more weeks. She should be right at home with this week's British Invasion theme, in any case.

Sorry for the essay, you guys! I get a little carried away sometimes. I take my Idol-watching a little too seriously :) I'm also really bad at conclusions, so, the end.

***Btw, you guys, Kellie Pickler's new record 100 Proof is so good! I finally caved and downloaded it, and it's been on non-stop iPod rotation since. Her voice is smoother and lovelier than I've ever heard before from her, and the songs have that great Pickler-esque blend of hillbilly spunk and heart. Instant classic.

'American Idol', Top 6

With last week's relatively shocking elimination, we're finally down to six. In one fell swoop (and two very underwhelming performances) Colton Dixon, who was considered by many (including yours truly) to be a lock for a hometown visit, leaves, and we suddenly have quite a race on our hands. Idol history tells us that the winner probably won't be someone who has spent any time in the bottom three, which at this point leaves us with Phillip Phillips as the perennial favorite. Fantasia and Kris Allen are the lone exceptions to this bottom three rule, but season three (Fantasia's season) is a universe away from the Idol we currently know, and Kris's appearance in the bottom three came during top five week, when the horse race was almost too close to call.

I'm not willing to call Phillip the winner just yet, though. I would like to believe (even though it's probably a delusion) that someone besides a cute white guy with a guitar can win this show. Hmmm. If Phillip finds himself in the bottom three just once, it truly is anyone's ballgame. (Sorry, I'll nix the sports metaphors from here out.)

The strangest thing about this season for me is how much I genuinely like all of the contestants. I think they're more evenly matched than nearly any season in recent memory. Season five also had an amazing top six, except for, oddly, its winner Taylor Hicks. Rounding out the top six that season? Katharine McPhee, Elliot Yamin, Chris Daughtry, Kellie Pickler, and Paris Bennett. This season has an oddly reminiscent air about it. Most of them are performing so well that contestants aren't going home because of "poor" performances, but rather because of slightly dull ones. It's been really interesting to watch.

To do something different, then, here the strengths and weaknesses of the remaining Idolestants in alphabetical order:

HOLLIE CAVANAGH
Strengths: Likeability; powerhouse pipes; charisma when she lets loose; teenager-ness; spunky accent.
Weaknesses: Stuck in the boring, powerhouse diva vocal category, otherwise known as the "Pia Zone"; often seems unnatural and robotic; boring and overly ambitious/old song choices.

Hollie's greatest asset at this point is her likeability. It's not surprising that on a week many saw her going home (the first top seven episode), she survived after an adorable clip package showed her goofing around with Joshua. Her personality has finally started to emerge in the last couple of weeks, and, with that little rebirth, she's started to sing better. Her cover of "Rolling in the Deep" was grrrreat! Adele covers are terrible ideas, but she owned this one and showed some confidence in the process. I don't see Hollie winning, but she very well could scrape by to the top four, maybe three, with a couple of good weeks. Voters love to see growth.

SKYLAR LAINE
Strengths: Consistency; showmanship; personality; ability to tell a story in a 90 second performance; song choices; authenticity.
Weaknesses: Some people don't like country music; range often overshadowed by the other teens in the competition.

Skylar is everything we wanted Lauren Alaina to be last season. She's authentic, smart, a true performer, and has one heckuva voice that she somehow manages to keep surprising us with. I'm constantly impressed with her ability to own her performances, with so much natural charisma. And she hasn't had a bad performance in weeks. Her only trip to the bottom three, after she covered Miranda Lambert's "Gunpowder and Lead", was probably, as Jimmy rightly pointed out, because she sang a song with a lot of character but not a lot of emotion. She hasn't made that mistake again. It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that I'm rooting for Skylar to steal this thing from Phillip. I think she's the dark horse.

JOSHUA LEDET
Strengths: That voice; ability to tame his voice when needed; humility; onstage charisma; excellent selection of slightly-too-small-but-somehow-just-right jackets.
Weaknesses: Song choices tend to somehow all be oldies; post-Idol album potential; the fact that he's not a white guy with a guitar (a quality which frankly applies to all but one in this competition).

Joshua has been a real surprise for me this season. I'm constantly floored by his ability to perform like a freaking pro! I think it was his performance of "When a Man Loves a Woman" that first made me pay attention to his natural charisma and performance instincts. His transformation from mild-mannered teenager (yes, teenager!) in real life to sixties-era soul singer onstage is still shocking to me every week. I think his biggest hurdle is song choice, though. He seems like a singer that was born 40 years too late, and except for the Bruno Mars song he did two weeks ago, he has yet to show that he can sing contemporary pop hits believably. Love Joshua, but would be surprised to see him in the top three.

PHILLIP PHILLIPS
Strengths: Cute, white boy with a guitar; "unique" voice; natural sexiness; song re-arranger; personality; sticks to a winning formula.
Weaknesses: Does the same thing every week (!!!); not great with melody; aversion to change.

I know I sound grumpy about him, but I really do like Phillip! Unlike the other contestants, though, he doesn't need my encouragement. As I said earlier, I think he's the frontrunner, and it would be surprising to see him land in the bottom three. As someone who likes Phillip's potential, I'm frustrated by his inability to change up his shtick every week. Even Crystal Bowersox, who arrived on the Idol stage every ounce the musician that Phillip is, tried new things and experimented with different kinds of sounds. When I think back on Phillip's performances, I hear one long jam-band tune accented by a signature growl. Last week's "U Got It Bad" cover was great, but somehow still the same as his other performances. I guess the argument is that if it ain't broke, there's no need to fix it (much like Scotty did. The. Whole. Season.), but I'm just bored with him at the moment. Rant over.

JESSICA SANCHEZ
Strengths: Best voice in the competition; ability to control and finesse her vocal runs better than anyone else; excellent at taking advice; marketable.
Weaknesses: Has already been voted off by America; falls into the "singing-by-numbers" category; too young.

"Too young" may seem slightly unfair to rail against Jessica, but the charge is not to do with her vocal maturity, but rather her emotional maturity. Her instrument is incredible, and her vocal prowess unmatched by anyone in the competition, but I don't know that I believe her all the time when she's singing. On the radio, this is not something that makes a massive difference, but when she's performing on TV, I never feel like the beautiful runs she's doing reflect a connection to the song. Her Whitney Houston cover was an amazing vocal performance because Jessica is a great student with an uncanny ear, not because she was feeling the emotion of the song. If she can have one or two truly emotional, affective performances, she's got a shot at being in the final two.

ELISE TESTONE
Strengths: Most downloadable voice in the competition; seasoned musician; best potential for really high highs ("Whole Lotta Love"; "Vienna"); not afraid to try new things; sang "Dreams" with Stevie Nicks!
Weaknesses: Personality on results shows is perceived by some as "stank"; occasionally questionable song choices; "vacation home" in the bottom three; age.

I hate to put "age" in there as a weakness (mainly because Elise is younger than this blogger), but women over the age of 20 do not do well in this competition. Melinda Doolittle was the closest "old lady" to ever get to the finale (she was 29), but she of course was eliminated instead of Blake Lewis (a cute, white boy with a kind of instrument. See a pattern?) for the finale. At this point Elise, with her fabulously smoky rasp and refreshingly adult point of view, will be lucky to make the final four. Sad trombone.

'Idol''s Top 9 and EVP Rage

Let's start with the EVP rage. I don't have to tell you that Erika Van Pelt's elimination last week was a travesty, another disturbing example of collective Idol voter lady-hating. But we're used to this by now, aren't we? The last FOUR winners of this show have been "cute" (even in my teen years, I would not have found Scotty cute), straight white guys with guitars. Voters always pick off the women early on, and Erika was just too awesome with her perfect vocals and fearless last minute makeover for the voters to relate. Erika ended her Idol run with a great swan song performance (in spite of Randy's awkward "nah" response to Ryan's obligatory question about whether they were going to save Erika), a rad haircut, and a spot on the Idol tour.

EVP, I salute you, and since your votes will likely transfer over to Team Elise, know that your sacrifice is not in vain.

Here's a really good recap of the results show injustice, along with a hilarious screen shot of J-Lo caught mid-mean girl. I wished he had mentioned the infamous women-with-tattoos Idol conspira-theory, though. It's a real thing, and it's ruining the record industry.

Never forget.

Moving on. I didn't post last week because I frankly had very little to rant about. I think we ended up with a Perfect Top Ten this year, which softens the blow of Erika's premature elimination a little bit for me. I don't think a top ten (now nine. Sigh) has been this full of legitimate talent since maybe season seven. And that year, we still had to endure this (bless her). Instead, then, of listing all of them in order by favorite this week, I've split them into three categories.

SINGERS WITH A LEGITIMATE SHOT AT A CONFETTI SHOWER IN THE NOKIA

Colton Dixon: Colton has been quietly contending for the Idol crown since Hollywood Week. His skinny jeans and skunk hair may bug some people, but he came into the competition already packaged to be a certain kind of artist, and I think he has done an excellent job in the competition so far. His voice is radio-friendly; he writes his own music, which from the snippets we've heard sound pretty good; and he performs well. He has also, arguably, been the most consistent contestant in the competition this season. I don't see him going home any time soon/at all.

Skylar Laine: Skylar is such an exciting performer to watch, and she seems to have a great personality to match. The energy she brings to her performances seems genuine, and, like Philip, she seems unable to contain herself from feeling whatever she's singing. It's freaking mesmerizing! My favorite thing about her, though, is that, like all good country singers, she is masterful at telling stories through her songs. She made me believe that Whitney Houston's "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" was a country song about, well, a broken heart, even though of course I knew better! She's great, and the voters seem to be recognizing that, as well. It's hard to imagine her being in imminent elimination danger even with a bad performance.

Phillip Phillips: This might seem hypocritical, but even though I love Phillip's performances (in spite of the Dave Matthews-ness and the shouting), I don't want him to win the show because he's a cute white boy with a guitar. I want a woman to win the show to prove that it's still possible. Frankly, after his reluctance to take the advice of Jimmy, Puffy, and Tommy Hilfiger (not a bad thing! It was awkward advice!) it seems like Phillip would be miserable if he won the show and had to be marketed by 19 as a Pop Idol anyway. That said, I think he really could win this show. I love the authenticity of his performances and even the liberties he takes with melodies. Last week's "Movin' Out" almost seems like a song he could have written. No question that Phillips' got the potential to go all the way this season.

Jessica Sanchez: When the gospel choir came onstage this week during Jessica's performance of that random song about dreams (did that song only have, like, one lyric repeated to infinity?), I didn't even notice they were there for a while because she was singing so well. At no point has she ever let the music or background vocals overpower her singing (no small feat on the Idol stage), and when she's onstage, she displays such control over what she's doing that it's hard to believe she's only 16. Every week, I find myself shocked anew by the power in her voice and the strength in her lower register. I think she's the best out and out vocalist in this competition, and as long as she keeps making us believe that she believes what she's singing, I think she's the perennial favorite for this year's title.

SINGERS FIGHTING FOR A TOP 5 SPOT

Hollie Cavanagh: I love Hollie's what-the-what?! belter voice, her weird but cool (English plus North Texan minus British inflected) accent, and how she somehow resembles a Disney woodland creature, but the ballads are hurting her. Last week, I would have put her in the above category, but then she sang another ballad, and this time it wasn't as well executed as the others she's done. I think of all the contestants on the show, she has the best shot at experiencing a true "Idol journey. I don't think she can win, though, unless she proves she can sing something 1) up-tempo; and 2) contemporary. And at this point, she may be in the Pia zone.

Joshua Ledet: It pains me a little to put Joshua in this category, but unless he can choose better songs, I don't think he can win this. Do I even need to talk about how freaking fantastic his performance of "When a Man Loves a Woman" was two weeks ago? My roommate is a casual watcher/occasional hater at best, but we were both more than a little mesmerized/sent into a frenzy with that performance. I want more of Joshua showing that kind of insane charisma and less of last week's intrusive gospel choir in his performances. I think/hope he's got a real shot at getting to the top three, but unless he can be a little more consistent with song choices, I don't see him winning.

Elise Testone: Elise is my favorite contestant in this competition, and if my history with these things proves consistent, I will be downloading whatever records she releases in the future. I love everything about her smoky rasp, and I love love love the fact that she is a musician who has been working at this for a long time. Her performance this week of "Vienna" was so perfect, I can't believe more people aren't talking about it. She even started in the pit of destruction, and walked through the crowd to the stage without losing focus! No one ever does that successfully! I don't think she can win the show, though, because frankly she's a 28 year-old woman, and she's already been in the bottom three twice. If the triumphant top 3 march of Haley Reinhart taught us anything (LOVED Haley's results show performance last week, btw!), though, it's that sometimes the voters can actually surprise us. I hope they surprise us with Elise.

SINGERS IN NEED OF A HAIL MARY TO MAKE IT TO THE TOP 7

Deandre Brackensick: Deandre seems like such a sweetie, but I find the hairography and the bouncy bouncy stage presence odd and off-putting. His voice is so beautiful and even mature, but what is he trying to do onstage? He really doesn't have amazing stage presence, which is a shame because his voice is attention-grabbing on its own. He also falls into the questionable song choice category, even more so than everyone else. I really like him, but I think his Idol days are numbered.

Heejun Han: Last week's insane "I was just having fun" performance "My Life" was horrid, and takes me back to horrible Sanjaya places in my Idol memory that I thought I had locked away forever. It was a terrible vocal and performance in the grand tradition of Josh Gracin's "Jive Talkin'" and John Stevens' "Crocodile Rock". Ugh, Heejun. Just, ugh. It's so wrong that Erika went home last week. Love Heejun's tone, but he's out of his league.

Idol Pre-Season Wishlist

Tonight the real season of American Idol begins. With the first half (plus one. Why Idol?) of the Top 25 performing for votes, we get to hear complete (albeit pared down to 90 seconds) performances by the Idolestants, and the chance to finally see how these kids fare on the big stage! I love the semi-finals! The potential for break-out stars and exciting new performers is just too enticing to turn truly cynical about the ageing Idol formula.

Going into the season, I wasn't totally sure how I was going to feel about this season of Idol, given the reality singing competition overload we as a collective viewing public have been smacked with this past year. I wasn't sure if X-Factor's awfulness would have left a permanently bitter taste in my mouth. After the Vegas episode, though, I realized that I'm invested. This year's top 24 - umm - 25, is (dare I say it?) one of the most exciting in recent memory. Wowsers, this could be a cool season!***

So, before the season officially gets kicked off later, I wanted to provide my own little pre-season Idol cover wishlist. I've always had a wishlist; I've just never shared it before. In the past, only a few contestants have sung my wishlist songs, but whenever they have, it's been awesome (Crystal Bowersox singing "Up to the Mountain" springs to mind).**** Two of my all-time favs have already been covered this season ("Dedicated to the One I Love" and "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?"), so I'm optimistic that anything awesome could happen. If any of the Idolestants sing any of these songs this season without sucking, they get major points from me (btw, the artists listed are not always the original artists. I'm not a musical history moron ;)):

"Dream a Little Dream of Me" by Mama Cass
"My Man" from Funny Girl (it would have to be a theme night)
"In My Life" by the Beatles
"I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor (but closer to this version)
"Droplets" by Colbie Caillat
"All I Wanted" by Paramore
"Truth No. 2" by the Dixie Chicks
"Long Ride Home" by Patty Griffin
"Sweet Baby James" by James Taylor
"I Know" by Fiona Apple (it could be a moment for someone!) (also, this is a wishful thinking list at parts)
"I'm Movin' On" by Rascal Flatts
"Much Too Young (To Feel This Damn Old)" by Garth Brooks
"Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" by Lauryn Hill
"Young Blood" by the Naked and Famous
"Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" by the Platters
"Somewhere" from West Side Story
"Breakin' Up" by Rilo Kiley
"Be My Baby" by the Ronettes
"Very Last Country Song" by Sugarland

If anyone covers these songs this season, we all lose:
"Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)" by Phil Collins (kiss of death song)
"Alone" by Heart (Carrie owns it, and she lent it to Allison Iraheta, but no one else is allowed to partake. Sorry)
"I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston (even singing the Dolly version will invite comparisons that should be best left alone)
"Up to the Mountain" by Patty (nope. It began with Kelly and ended with Crystal)
"Daydream Believer" by the Monkees (we all have Shrek to thank for killing that one)
"Fallin'" by Alicia Keys
"I'll Be" by Edwin McCain
"I Feel the Earth Move" by Carole King (song that never seems to go the way the Idolestant thinks it will)
"(Love Is Like a) Heat Wave" by Martha and the Vandellas
"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith (I just can't stand this song any more)
""Ain't Goin' Down ('Til The Sun Comes Up)" by Garth Brooks (kiss of death song. Avoid)
"Imagine" by John Lennon (I don't think the Idolestants really get this song when they sing it. They should just not sing it anyway)
"Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley (Done. To. Death.)

***The only elimination I was truly upset by was Lauren Gray's. I still don't really understand why they gave her the axe, and the whole post-top-8-Lauren-Alaina (e.g., lacking in self confidence) edit they gave her felt extremely forced. I'll probably pout about her for a little while this season. She may have been my favorite going into this round.

****With one exception: Ramiele Malubay maimed my all time favorite song here.

Concerning the Return of 'Idol' and 'The Voice'

By now those of you who watch reality singing competition shows (moi aussi!) are probably revelling in the excitement of not just one, but two pretty good ones on your TV these days. Don't know about you guys, but I found X-Factor painful. It took all of the most obnoxious qualities of shows in this genre, used them, and then threw its own over-the-top ridiculatta in the mix. There were so many ill-used tropes that I can't even list them all here. Feel free to rag on it as much as you wish in the comment section with my full support.

I use X-Factor as my example of how not to do a reality singing show because it excellently highlights all the things American Idol and The Voice are doing right. I admit that I was not on the Voice's hype train last season. I watched it out of crush devotion to Blake Shelton and to see the multitudinous ways Xtina tried to make us believe she's just a real gal (she's never let me down). In general, though, most of its debut season, like a scrubbier version of X-Factor seemed too forced to me -- namely the disingenuous jump-cut editing of the blind auditions to the rapid-fire elimination of contestants to TRL's Carson Daly -- and I wasn't very emotionally attached.

This season, though, they've worked out the kinks, and the result is a much smoother, more enjoyable ride.** Where on Idol I want to see and hear less from the judges, the opposite is true on The Voice. Judge chemistry has reached new levels this time around, and now that they've all got a season under their belts, it's fun to see the various ways the judges are playing the game. Nothing exemplifies the fun, light feel of the season so far for me like Cee-Lo Green, who, as a friend so wisely pointed out to me one time, somehow looks a little like Verne Troyer, stroking his Dr Evil kitty while doing confessionals. LOVE.

I can't say that Idol has really done anything to reinvent the wheel this season, but last week's group round and Vegas performances made me really excited about what's to come this season. I recently read an interesting article by Mark Harris in Entertainment Weekly, arguing basically that The Voice is more in touch with viewers in the way that initially made Idol a huge success, and that Idol has lost its touch. While this was an easy thing to say after the terrible first two Hollywood Week episodes of this season's Idol (you remember: a girl fell off the stage and we had to see it about 17 times in an hour, and then we got nary a note of singing after group night drama), last week's Vegas episode packed in about 50 above average to excellent singers singing clever arrangements of songs from the 1950s. It also gave us plenty of heroes (Erika van Pelt; Lauren Gray; Philip Phillips), villains (Randy; "Cowboy" Richie), and aggressive hipsters (looking at you, Reed Grimm) to give us people to root for and against. The Voice is certainly more bent on welcoming a truly diverse range of singers, and is more tolerant and open about different lifestyles, something Idol should learn from, but generally speaking, Idol can be darn good TV when it wants to be.

Also, and this may just be my own projections, it seems like Idol has fewer precocious teenagers left than it did at this point last year. Yay!

Now, because I like to make lists, here are the contestants from both shows I'm most looking forward to this season. It's too early to go negative, so I'll wait until Idol whittles it down to 24 for that. At this point in the season, it's a little hard to remember all the people I like on The Voice, so these are just a few standouts. More to come.

The Voice:

Tony Lucca (Team Adam): I totally remembered him from MMC and, oh yes, Malibu Shores!

Sarah Golden (Team Cee Lo): The "ugly girl" edit she got was super weird. I think she's got a great set of pipes and an artist vibe. Plus, she sang my fav Gaga jam, "You and I".

The Line (Team Christina): For some reason, this is one of the auditions I remember the most because they remind me of the awesome country duos that came out of the depressingly short-lived CMT series Can You Duet (from which came Joey and Rory, Steel Magnolia, and the Stellas). I hope we get a lot more of their harmonies.

American Idol:

Baylie Brown: Loved her audition in Galveston, but am a little worried about why they're keeping her under wraps during the crazy pre-semis. I hope it's because they expect to drop a "where'd she come from" bomb in the semi-finals.

Hallie Day: After going full-on "Backstory Idol" with her during the auditions, they haven't showed her singing much in Hollywood. I'm sort of hoping she'll make it to the top 24 and wow us all in the first round.

Lauren Gray: Yeah, so they gave her the Carrie Underwood edit when she auditioned. That's not her fault! Her controlled, raspy instrument is so up my alley. She handled herself hilariously with "Vocal Coach from Hell" Peggy Blu to then give this performance. Mmm, girl.

Heejun Han: Controversial. I like his voice (even though he needs some work), and I like his personality. It's not often we get that much sarcasm past the cheesy humor-prone Idol editors. I hope he sticks around for a little while.

Jenn Hirsch: This performance was sick. "Georgia on My Mind" is quickly becoming the new "Fallen" of the Hollywood and semi-final rounds, but what Jenn did with it was undeniably amazing. She came out of nowhere, but has emerged as one of the best voices on the show.

Skylar Laine: It was the attitude and stage presence she brought to this solo performance that made me sit up and listen. There's a maturity about her that I think Lauren Alaina could have really learned from last season. In Vegas she was in the group that sang one of my all-time favorite songs, "Dedicated to the One I Love", and as much as I tried to resist, I found myself completely sucked into that performance. She's on my watch list.

Aaron Marcellus: I thought he was the best thing about this Vegas performance of "Sealed With a Kiss". Idol needs his voice.

Erika van Pelt: She has been amazing from her audition when she sang another one of my all-time favs, Carole King's "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow". Artist alert.

Philip Phillips: You guys, I'm in love. Along with 15 million other women. Yeah, his performance antics are a little spazzy, but he gets so into the music that it's hard to fault him for it. There's something really wonderful about his little-boy-at-Christmas love for playing music, as well as his ability to turn me into a puddle with a :15 second solo in this performance. I'll be really disappointed if we lose him early.

Jessica Sanchez: When she opened her mouth in this version of "It Doesn't Matter Anymore", I almost did a spit-take. Like, what the WHAT?! She and Deandre Brackensick are CHILDREN, but they and Candice Glover sang the ever lovin' funk out of that thing with attitude. I would download that performance.


**That's so something I would say about a new pair of running shoes. I'm running in the K-Swiss Blade Max Stable these days, by the way, guys, and they are a much smoother, more enjoyable ride.

A Case for Kara DioGuardi and 'Platinum Hit'

I'm a little ashamed to admit this, but I really enjoy reading celebrity memoirs sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I read lots of other, less trashy things, too, but contemporary memoirs are so far outside of my research interests that they make useful brain relaxation tools. I also find it fascinating to read how certain celebrities see and present themselves autobiographically.**

So as an (some might say) obsessive American Idol fan, I couldn't resist having a look at Kara DioGuardi's new memoir A Helluva High Note: Surviving Life, Love and American Idol. After reading it, I have to admit that I felt a little bad for her about Idol. She was (and still is) a mega-successful songwriter, with vocal chops of her own, but with virtually no experience on TV when she was thrust into the Idol limelight, albeit voluntarily. She describes how difficult the first season was for her, and how she was given very little advice from producers or anyone on the show about how to do the job she had been enlisted to do. To add to that, things were uncomfortable for her with Simon, and as that first season (season 8) went on, she found herself continually ill at ease with him. On top of all that, she knew the second she heard it that the much panned winner's song that year, "No Boundaries", which she penned with another songwriter Cathy Dennis, was a disaster, and after the finale she went to her trailer and cried.

It's not honest of me to say that I didn't criticize her a lot during her first (and about half of her second) season, but after reading her side of it, it's easy to see why she had so much trouble jumping in there with smart, useful critiques for contestants, and I felt genuinely bad for agreeing so virulently with some of her most vocal critics. That said, during the second half of season 9, she was the only judge on the panel doing the job well. Simon had a raging case of senioritis, and Ellen and Randy didn't give the contestants much to work with, either. I thought Kara really stepped up, becoming the lone voice of reason. She won me over, and I was really sad to see her leave with the judging shakeup last summer.

All that is to say that I think her new competition reality show on Bravo, Platinum Hit, which debuts tonight at 10/9c, could be really great. As I understand it, she and Jewel will widdle down a field of twelve singer-songwriters, using a series of songwriting challenges to determine who is most deserving of a $100,000 and a publishing/recording deal. Songwriting is Kara's game, and she's had a very successful run of it***. The kinds of critiques she is capable of offering could be pointed and interesting. As could be those from Jewel, who has proven her worth as a singer, musician, songwriter, and even a TV judge (remember her run on Nashville Star?).

Needless to say, I'm looking forward to this one! Let me know what you think if you tune it.

**For your own delight and delectation, the best ones I've read in the last year are hands down Alison Arngrim's Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated, a hilarious and heartbreaking account of how playing Nellie Oleson helped Arngrim grow into a confident advocate for abuse victims, which she herself had been as a child; and Tina Fey's Bossypants, a witty, non-linear collection of essays about her life, and the laugh-out-loud funniest book I've ever read.

***Among the notable songs she's written or co-written are the following: Christina Aguilera's "Ain't No Other Man"; Carrie Underwood's "Undo It", "Mama's Song"; Colbie Caillat's "I Never Told You"; Cobra Starship's "Good Girls Go Bad"; Kelly Clarkson's "I Do Not Hook Up", "Walk Away"; Pink's "Sober"; Hilary Duff's "Come Clean"; Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me" (say what you will about Ashlee Simpson, but that song is fun!), "Shadow", "La La"; Enrique Iglesias' "Escape"; Katharine McPhee's "Terrified" (a personal fav).

'American Idol' Season 10, Top Five Performances

Well, kids, this season of Idol sure has been a crazy ride. Just a few months ago, we were like hopeful amnesiacs, awaiting a new dawn in our favourite singing competition. There were so many things to be excited about: Steven Tyler had opinions! J-Lo gracefully stepped down from her pedestal of super-stardom (in 8-inch heels, nonetheless) to offer caring, but pointed criticisms to our green little Idolestants! We witnessed amazing auditions and Hollywood week performances from the likes of Casey Abrams, Paul McDonald and Kendra Chantelle, John Wayne Shultz (yes, I'm still bitter about that one), Molly DeWolf Swenson (remember the White House intern who Randy punched in the face?), and even the undeniably naturally talented Lauren Alaina (even if she was pimped from the get-go)! We had a really promising and talented top 24! They told us original songs might happen! Even the wild card round was a thing of beauty for once!

Not to say that the show went downhill from there, but the show kind of went downhill from there. The judging situation has been addressed ad nauseum; we lost a lot of great talent in Hollywood week with nary a word of goodbye, or in the abrupt, one-week semifinal round (I'm thinking of you, Tim Halperin, and I love your single "The Last Song" [which is available as a free and legal download on Noisetrade.com]); we ended up with waaay too many teenagers in the finals; we never saw those promised original songs post-airplane hanger; and, in spite of this performance, we lost Kendra Chantelle in that Wild Card round. Additionally, the stankness and schticky performances of certain contestants (named James and Scotty) during Hollywood week never came back to bite them, which was a strange and unwelcome turnaround from previous seasons. To be fair, though, we got awesomesauce folks like Naima, Paul, Casey, early Stefano (he fizzled a bit), and future breakout star Haley in the mix, but it was an uneven group, certainly more talented than last year's group, but uneven nonetheless.

So, to end my American Idol, season 10 moaning on a positive note, I give you my top 5 favourite performances of the season (from the semi-finals onward -- great auditions and Hollywood weeks performances are categories for another day when I'm bored):

1. (WITH A BULLET!) Haley Reinhart, "The House of Rising Sun", Top 5 Week: For the record, an early draft of this list was four Haley solo songs (this one and "I (Who Have Nothing)", "Bennie and the Jets", "You and I", with "What is and What Should Never Be" and "Beautiful" as honourable mentions) and the Naima song below, but I decided to spread the love a little bit, since this show is (or, rather, should be) all about musical journeys. When she performed this song, there was no doubt that Haley was the best on the show and perhaps of the season, even though she didn't start out that way. "The House of Rising Sun" represented the height of her evolution as an artist on this show, and probably now stands as one of the ten best Idol performances ever. Oh my gosh, how great was that strung out, angry a capella intro, and that vocal restraint in the build?! The anger that she was feeling post-judges comments for her earlier (AMAZING) performance of "You and I" worked to fuel her performance. All in all, it was sheer Idol brilliance. Ugh, get it, girl!

2. Naima Adedapo, "For All We Know", Wild Card Performance: It's true that Kendra Chantelle's "Georgia on My Mind" and Stefano Langone's "I Need You Now" were the more obvious standouts of that particular round, but I've got to make a case for Naima's lovely, restrained vocal on "For All We Know", a song recorded by one of Elliott Yamin's favorite influences Donnie Hathaway. Singing with all the emotion James felt during his "Without You" performance, but couldn't restrain in his vocals, Naima managed to make every note an expression of what she was feeling in that moment, and she didn't embellish it in the same way a lot of people tend to do for "sing for your life" performances.

3. Haley Reinhart and Casey Abrams, "Moanin'", Top 8 Results Night: This number made me sit up and listen to Haley. I reluctantly loved her "Bennie and the Jets" performance two weeks before, and while her "Piece of My Heart" cover was pretty good, "Call Me" was a disaster. I wasn't on the Haley train until this duet, wherein she and Casey showed their ridiculous amounts of musical chemistry. Like everyone else, I don't think I realized that Haley could sound so lovely and jazzy. The harmonies, the scatting, the performance itself -- it all just worked. It was a turning point for the season.

4. Casey Abrams, "Nature Boy", Top 8: I loved that Casey went against Jimmy's advice that week to pull off a restrained and thoroughly enjoyable jazz combo number. I don't think Casey was ever one of the best vocalists on the show this season, but when he chose to be, he was a good musician. Everything from the song choice, to the instrumental bit in the middle, to the jazzy vocal itself worked. It was so nice to see something this off the beaten path on the Idol stage.

5. Paul McDonald, "Maggie Mae", Semi-finals: This is where a lot of us fell for Paul. His lilting, whispery vocals combined with his kind of silly, kind of drunken performance antics to create a truly enjoyable breakout performance. This fantastic/wacky performance proves that confidence is the most attractive quality in a person. Love Paul's vocals; love Paul's charisma.

'American Idol' Finale Post-Mortem

I complain, I moan, and I cry conspiracy all season, but I am always a fan of Idol finales. Those folks know how to put on a good show, and they get amazing talent in there. Even last season’s uneven finale (seriously, Lee performing a “duet” with the band Chicago because he auditioned in Chicago? Seriously?) still had some great moments (Alanis Morisette and Crystal Bowersox FTW!). This year’s show was fantastic, in spite of an uninspiring final two. Here are a few notes about the Idol finale in no particular order:

Carrie Underwood is a class act, yo. We’ve seen what Carrie can do on that finale stage, and frankly every time she (or Kelly Clarkson) appears on the show, she legitimises it more than just a little bit. So I think it’s pretty admirable how much she dialed it back for Lauren’s sake in their performance of "Before He Cheats" (Carrie's first real breakout song). Even the last several bars, when Carrie is prone to inhabiting pure awesomeness in her vocals and performances, she let Lauren have some great riffs and glory notes. Classy. Same for Tim McGraw. I enjoyed both of those duets, which, you will recall, can sometimes lean toward the awkward (remember this little gem? It's like they were singing two different songs. I still feel uncomfortable).

HALEY AND TONY BENNETT, RIGHT?! Seeing Haley’s level of confidence during that performance (and in her other performances that night, for that matter) was wonderful. If anyone had a true “Idol journey” this season, it was Haley. In her first few performances this season, I was really put off by her performance mannerisms and an unlikability (not a real word) that I can only classify as stankness (also not a real word). But when she performed “Bennie and the Jets”, something clicked for her. She had a hilariously awkward “scootch” off the piano halfway through the performance (about :44 in) and a manic arm-swing going on throughout, but it just worked for her. As she came into her own this season, it was fun to see her gradually gain confidence in her performance style and her vocals. Do I even need to mention her victory march during her last three weeks on the show? That’s the stuff of Idol legends. Haley Reinhart, I salute you.

That was definitely Handsome Mark of SYTYCD fame dry-humping Lady Gaga atop the Aggro Crag, yes?

I thought just about every time Casey performed or commented, he was hilarious. OTT yes, but hilarious and fun. Honorable mention to Pia for skit-chastising James and Casey in their little bit about being the “most shocking”. That was cute.

[SIDENOTE: Where was Pia’s duet in the finale? Shocking omission.]

I loved the Beyonce medley for the female contestants (who were strangely sans Lauren). I think that was the best Karen and Thia ever sounded, and when Haley and Ashthon sang on “If I Were a Boy”, I suddenly felt a little sad that Ashthon never got the chance to show us that side of her during the finals. They all sounded amazing.

Beyonce can saaang…even though I’m not mad about her new single.

On that note, the Lady Gaga performance was pure Gaga and pure fun, but way too risqué for the Idol stage. If I had kids, I would change the channel when Gaga performs. So that’s why I was a little shocked to hear Beyonce sing the lyric, “Make love to me”, over and over again, mere minutes after Gaga's simulated sex scene on a large, fake cliff. Those two performances definitely took a usually pretty TV-PG kind of family hour, and turned it into at least a TV-14 kind of hour, in spite of the fact that the finalists were probably the most G-rated finalists we’ve ever had. Wow. Careful there Idol: never underestimate the “family show” audience’s predisposition to boycotting. #producermiscalculation

Oh, how bad was that U2-Spiderman fiasco? Wow.

Obviously, I’m not a Scotty fan, but I liked his show of emotion at the end. I don’t buy his calculated image, generally, so it was nice to see an honest overflow of tears and gratitude coming from the kid when he won. I also liked that his hair was all mussed. When he matures a little bit as a musician (read: stops imitating other country singers and understands that singing is actually a craft) and releases a fun, pop country hit, I’ll probably download it. I hated David Archuletta during his season (even though I recognized that he could sing really, really well) because I saw him as a tool of producer manipulation and an indirect source of Simon Cowell’s vitriol toward Carly Smithson and sometimes David Cook, but when he released “Crush”, I had to admit that I liked the kid and his undeniably catchy song. I hope the same could be true with Scotty.

Sooo, it may be unnecessarily creepy to speculate about the “relationship status” of a couple of teenagers, but the question has been begged: Lauren + Scotty = showmance?

American Idol: The "Select" Five

What did everyone think about Carole King week on Idol? I thought it was kind of amazing, actually, and it has the distinct privilege of being the only week so far in this competition where I wasn't horrified by the annoyance levels of James and Scotty. In fact, and I'm saying this cautiously for fear of my own backlash against myself, I even enjoyed both of their performances. What was the difference this week, you say? Babyface and a songbook theme week that allowed some creativity in the Idolestants. As per usual, though, I have my quibbles, and the basic order of how I would rank the contestants hasn't really changed, but I'm just saying that I thought Scotty and James both doffed some of their most grating habits this week to deliver somewhat heartfelt renditions of songs from one of the greatest songbooks in pop music. It wasn't quite a season 7 Dolly Parton or Mariah Carey night, but it was pretty good, nonetheless.

In this post, let me first start with the negative:

5. Jacob Lusk: Wow. How is this guy still in the competition? I mean, I'm not saying Casey wasn't floundering for a few weeks (the growl was being used without regard for how often and how poorly it was being used, and, let's be honest here, the J-Lo kiss was uncomfortable for everyone. But I digress), but Casey always had the potential to bust out an awesome "Nature Boy" or "Moanin'" or "Georgia on My Mind". Jacob's seeming lack of ability to restrain his own vocals has been my major bone to pick with him this season (Randy's RIDICULOUS advice for Jacob to let loose is a perfect example of the judging problem this season, btw). I remain committed to my early season assessment that he's got some raw, unharnessed talent that he just has no idea what to do with. Unsurprisingly, he's got the coveted Vote for the Worst spot this week, and it would be incredibly disappointing if he were to somehow stick around another week.

4. James Durbin: My biggest problem with James is the type of music he seems interested in thrusting upon us. Heavy metal hasn't been mainstream since 1992, living almost exclusively in the bedrooms of adolescent boys and guitar geeks, and I'd be quite happy for it to stay that way. James' "Heavy Metal" performance several weeks ago was actually my nightmare. That said, though, his softer, subtler performance of "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?" was pretty great. How I wished he would've "In a Dream"-ed that junk all the way through (that is, continued with the a capella) because that part was lovely! (Sidenote: do you realize that no Idolestant since Bo Bice in season 4 has taken the full-on a capella risk with a song?) This was the first week I think James made himself accessible to me as a viewer. My only issue with his choice this week is that he chose a song that is lyrically meant to be sung by a woman, and although I'm generally a fan of Idols crossing gender bounds with their song choices (see, for instance, Lady Bowersox and Master Johns), adding testosterone to this song wasn't entirely believable to me. I'm not complaining, though. I actually liked this one from James!

3. Scotty McCreery: The other shocker of the night was that Scotty wiped away about seven layers of cheese, and churned out a really nice performance of "You've Got a Friend" (no disrespect, but Brooke White still owns this one on the Idol stage, though). Scotty's worst traits are performance style traits (side mic, full body tilt, mischievous eyebrows) and dipping into low notes as a replacement for completing phrases. This week, he didn't do side mic and he seemed to be fighting the urge to slip back into those other performance habits (which he did a few times, but a few slips is SO much better than the full-fledged Velveeta treatment he gave Elvis Presley a few weeks ago and LeAnn Rhimes last week). I love love love that Babyface advised him to start the song smoother, as opposed to the full twang treatment. It was lovely! It gave us a chance to see that perhaps Scotty has actually grown as a vocalist this season, which we would never know based on the last several weeks. My advice for Scotty moving forward from here would be to: 1) Avoid "hip-hop hand" when he hits the build; 2) Resist the urge to gaze deeply into the camera lens with Constantine Maroules eyes (hurl); and 3) Smooth out the twang a little bit because doing so forces him to sing complete phrases, and his voice isn't bad.

2. Lauren Alaina: I've started to really like Lauren based on the quality of her downloads. I still think she's on the immature side of performances, and she has yet to make me believe that she really understands what she's singing, but based on pure vocal aesthetics, she's the real deal. The performance stuff is forgivable because she's so young, and it seems pretty clear that she's desperately trying to please the judges/producers because she's young and (probably) used to having adults in her life guiding her choices. I wish they hadn't lowered the audition age this year because Lauren (and Thia, for that matter) could have used another year or two or three to mature before coming on this show. However, I can't hear any of that on my iPod. In my headphones, she sounds like a commanding vocalist with a good sense of confidence and emotion. All three duets she's done with Scotty this season have been ridiculous showcases of the quality her voice over his. Her performance of "Where You Lead" (which will never not be associated with Gilmore Girls for me) was good, and would have been great without random prop boy. Even though her Idol run has been a little all over the place, I think she's got a bright future ahead of her. Shoot, I'd buy her record.

1. Haley Reinhart: Little Miss Haley has garnered quite a following. Adam Lambert recently said in an interview that she's his favorite because of the kinds of things she's doing vocally. He also agreed with the blogosphere that Haley's not getting the praise from the judges she deserves. She's managed to emerge as this season's lovable underdog, and America loves an underdog. Part of her appeal is that the producers seem to be trying really hard to get her eliminated, which only makes a certain voting set want her to stay even more. The packages she's getting are often skewed toward the "Haley doesn't know what she's doing" side of things, when I'm about 90% sure the same could be said of 3 or 4 of the others, as well. Jimmy Iovine's comments about her during her results show package last week, for instance, were unnecessarily vicious ("As an artist, Haley’s problem is she doesn’t really know who she is yet. My prediction is, the audience is getting wind of that. And if she goes home tonight, it’ll be because of that." Whoa). I liked her performance of "Beautiful" (one of my favorite Carole King songs!) this week, and I think she weathered the technical difficulties like a pro. In short, she's good, and she's choosing the right songs. I hope she's able to ride this thing a little bit longer! Go Haley!

That's my two cents. Thoughts?

Pia Toscano Post-Mortem

Check out this video interview between last week's Idol evictee Pia Toscano and TVLine.com's Michael Slezak.

I don't really know how to describe it, but this interview makes me retrospectively appreciate Pia's run on Idol so much more than I did when she was still competing. She strikes me as classy and down-to-earth, with a good sense of her own vocal capabilities. If the producers had given us any sense of this woman while she was still on the show, things might have gone differently for her. She probably should have won this season. Yipes!

Idol: The Woman Problem

After last week’s shocking (read: not shocking) display of anti-feminism, my sister made the suggestion that we start championing Idol contestants we hate so that perhaps the ones we like will stick around. Obviously this is a reasonable suggestion, since Pia’s performance of “River Deep, Mountain High” was my favorite of hers from the competition. So in order to help out my actual favorites, I now declare James, Scotty, and Jacob to be my favorites. So don’t get voted off, James, Scotty, or Jacob. No, really, guys, please oh please don’t make the show better by getting voted off.

After Wednesday's performance show, I was all ready to confidently declare Pia as the best of the week, and write an optimistic paragraph about her Idol chances. But we all know what happened on Thursday. The Voice actually gave us something up-tempo. And it was good. So to repay her for breaking out of her comfort zone and working it on a Tina Turner song, America decided to make Pia the fifth female (the fifth female without blond hair and blue eyes, I may add) in a row to get the boot. I don’t have to tell you what a fail this is. Yeah, the judges should shoulder some blame for giving everyone gold stars, no matter how they do, but don’t think you’re getting off that easy, collective American voting public. We’re all to blame for this unsettling display of lady-hating.

I do think there’s hope, though, and here’s why: last season’s So You Think You Can Dance. Yeah, we’re talking about two totally different shows, with Idol favoring personality and hit-making ability more than raw talent (usually), and SYTYCD placing insane athleticism and hard work at its center, but I think in both shows, we’re relying on a power-voting public that tends to enjoy cute boys more than strong, talented women. Last season, after a couple of shocking and a couple of not-so shocking eliminations, we ended up with two women and six men. It got even more bleak when one of the aforementioned women then had to leave the show because of injury, leaving Lauren Froderman as the lone female for the final four weeks of competition (if you didn't watch this season, the real entertainment was watching the choreographers try to figure out ways to have two guys dance together without offending the red states and Nigel Lithgow). It looked like a cute boy's season to lose. But in spite of the apparently anti-female odds, Lauren won the thing, snatching the title from presumed champion (and cute boy) Kent Boyd. It was a very interesting turn of events.

So how does this relate to Idol where it now stands? If Lauren Alaina has a breakout week, she could be Idol's Lauren Froderman. She's got the talent and the personality, she just needs to feel a song. "Candle in the Wind" was a step in the right direction, even if last week's "Natural Woman" was possibly the worst song choice for a young girl to sing on this show. She's probably got a couple more weeks of grace period from the voters, at which point we call this season a wash for women. I'd (amazingly!) love to see Haley beat the odds and become the first person to sit in the bottom three for three straight weeks and go on to win the thing, but I don't think it's going to happen. Feminists, don't abandon hope! (Unless another woman gets voted off this week, in which case, start preparing for X-Factor now.)

This week is soundtrack night, which has had it's spectrum of performances (including it's various Broadway manifestations) ranging from the best performance on Idol of all time (Fantasia's "Summertime" FTW) to legendary (Carly Smithson's "Superstar" and Kris Allen's "Falling Slowly") to kinda bad (Jason Castro's "Memory") to cringeworthy (Danny Gokey's "Endless Love") to full-on uncomfortable (Jon Peter Lewis "Jailhouse Rock". You're welcome). (That was fun.) In short, it's my favorite Idol theme week.

If an Idolestant ever sings one of the following songs, s/he will automatically gain Crystal Bowersox cred with me: "Long Ride Home" by Patty Griffin (Elizabethtown), "My Man" from Funny Girl, "Till There was You" from The Music Man, and "Man of Constant Sorrow" from O Brother, Where Art Thou (Scotty McCreery does not get a free pass, though, even if he sings this song).

If an Idolestant sings one of these songs, I will cringe, deduct 50 cool points, and envision a giant Vaudeville-style cane pulling them offstage mid-performance: "I Have Nothing" or "I Will Always Love You from The Bodyguard (everyone knows the Dolly Parton version is the superior version of the latter, anyway), "Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)" by Phil Collins (Against All Odds), "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith (Armageddon) (I'm looking at you, Lauren Alaina), "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion (Titanic) (that didn't need to be said, right?), "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" by Bryan Adams (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves). HURL.

Should be an interesting week.

One other thing to mention: I'm a Haley fan now. She makes awkward cool. Chew on that.

American Idol: 11 Still in the Mix

What a weirdly decent week of Idol Motown performances! Am I crazy, or was there not a single train wreck in the bunch? My Idol-watching buddy and I had a strange moment of realization this week when we realized that we actually don't dislike anyone this season because of their inability to sing; instead, in true reality show viewing fashion, we dislike some contestants because of jarring personality traits (see below). I don't know how I feel about that.

Well, last week sure was entertaining, with the early exercise of the judges' save and all, but like with the previous week, I didn't feel compelled to download the studio versions of these songs. As the weeks get more and more competitive (seriously, who is THE frontrunner this season?), it will prove even more important for contestants to do something interesting with their songs in order to set them apart from the pack (see: Naima). My biggest problem with this season is the producer involvement, and the ways they're shaping the contestants into ready-made products. I do understand the irony of saying that in a post about American Idol, but what I mean is that part of what makes this show fun is seeing raw talent evolve over the course of the season. The best contestants have used the experience as an opportunity to try things out creatively for themselves, to varying degrees of success. The heavy music-producer involvement is, as I see it, stifling some of that creativity instead of actually creating the product they want. Even if that is the endgame of this competition, it seems like this new format might be the thing that prevents contestants from having late-in-the-game "wow" moments, like Bo Bice's "In a Dream", Jordin Sparks' "I (Who Have Nothing)", and Kris Allen's "Heartless", among others. The format certainly isn't helping the "growth" of Lauren Alaina or Scotty McCreery. Well, there's still a ways to go.

Without further ado, then, here's my list of favorites as they now stand:

1. Naima Adedapo: That's right, I said it! I didn't much care for her semi-finals round performance of "Summertime" or "What's Love Got To Do With It" two weeks ago, but every other performance from her has stopped me in my tracks. Of all the contestants, she's the one that seems to be trying to do something interesting with her performances, and even when all the pieces don't come together exactly right ("Umbrella" was a little pitchy, dawg), I still find myself excited about what she's attempting to do. I also respected her understanding of the history of "Dancing in the Street" (a song co-written by Marvin Gaye!) and its connection with the Civil Rights Movement. I'm possibly the only person who feels this way, but her restrained wild card performance of "For All We Know" is my favorite performance of the season.

2. Stefano Langone: His Motown week performance of "Hello" was missing a real connection to the song itself (as J-Lo aptly pointed out), but I simply love what he can do with his voice! And what's more, I think he's contemporary and radio ready (can't you hear him singing on hip hop singles?), which is more than we can say for some other contestants (*cough*JacobLusk*cough*). Oh, and btw, Gordan Ramsey clearly sucks! I'm sure Stefano's mother's cooking was divine.

3. Casey Abrams: All it would take to put Casey back at the top of my list again would be a non-growly, musically creative performance to show off his lovely pipes. That's all I want. He missed an opportunity to do this with "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

4. Paul McDonald: This week reminded me of why I liked him in the first place: a tendency toward gentle guitar strumming with a whispery lilt on the vocals. Now if we could only get bandzilla to let the guy alone onstage with his guitar, I think we'd see his true potential.

5. Pia Toscano: I want to like Pia. She's got a lovely voice, a seemingly humble demeanor, and she's proven unafraid to wear sweatpants and glasses on camera, but every week, she bores me into oblivion with her pageanty, adult contemporary ballads. I can't ignore her talent, but I don't really want to buy her records. You know?

6. Thia Megia: I wanted to like her so much, that I may have crossed over into actually liking her. This week's performance of "Heat Wave" was her strongest big stage performance yet, even though she didn't really do anything special with it. Maybe I like the potential of her jazzy voice? That must be it.

7. Lauren Alaina: I'm starting to lose patience with Lauren. My disappointment with her can be summed up with her clip package confession that her producer chose her song for her this week. She has a seriously amazing voice and what sounds like near-perfect pitch to me, but this week again left me with the sense that she has no idea what she's doing up there. She's playing the American Idol karaoke game, robotically hitting all her notes and smiling pretty for the cameras, yet lacking any real connection to what she's doing. It's not her fault: she's only 16, after all. Unless A LOT of personal and musical growth can happen between now and the end of May, though, I call foul on all those early Dame Kelly comparisons.

8. James Durbin: Him being a "huge professional wrestling fan" pretty much clarified to me why I find him irritating. It's the adolescent tendencies in this 22 year-old father that I find jarring -- the way he persists in wearing "tails", the way he screams in every song just because he can, the Judas Priest song in the semifinals: he's the Judd Apatow movie of this season's American Idol. There's definitely a market for his particular musical stylings, but it's not my demographic.

9. Haley Reinhart: My Idol-watching buddy astutely pointed out this week that the only way she seems to be able to find her notes is in growling her way to them. For the most part, I find her vocals relatively inoffensive. It's the weirdly sexualized performances (accented by the growling) that bum me out.

10. Scotty McCreery: Yep, still not a fan.

11. Jacob Lusk: Over-the-top has made a new friend in Jacob Lusk. This week's less insane vocal was probably his best to date, but I'm still not convinced he has any idea what he's trying to do with his voice.

That's my two cents. Next week's Idol theme: Elton John songs (a season 3 theme that gave us this piece of horror and this curious caterwaul).

American Idol, Season 10 REALLY Begins!

So, it is finally upon us: American Idol's season 10 top 24 have been selected, and I have to tell you, reader, I'm pretty happy with this group and with the season so far. Yeah, producer "pimping" of contestants they want us to love (ah-hem, Lauren Alaina, anyone?) has been far from subtle this season, and the decidedly meaner version of Randy we've been seeing makes him somehow even more unlikeable, but the changes have breathed new life into the show, and with the puzzling exclusions of John Wayne Shulz (a.k.a. my future husband) and White House intern/Harvard grad Molly something, this is a mixed bag top 24 that seems full of potential. Honestly, there are only a few of them I don't really like! Idol has turned over a new leaf, and I like where it's moving.

But before I get to the contestants and my initial impressions of them, I need to talk about the judges for a sec (what, with this being my first post about Idol this season, and all). As I mentioned above, Randy has somehow managed to make himself seem even less insightful than before, and now he's meaner, but not in a good way. Was anyone else appalled when music superstar executive Jimmy Iovine told Jacob Lusk to tone down his crazy during the Beatles song, but then after the performance, Randy stomped on all that good advice by telling Jacob to let loose again? FAIL.

On the plus side, though, my disappointment with Randy pales in comparison with my excitement about Steven and J-Lo (does anyone else think it's funny when people on the show call her "Jennifer"? Her name is J-Lo, people!). Granted, Steven's creepy flirting during the auditions was NOT OKAY IN ANY WAY, but the dude's got a lot of music know-how, and he's given surprisingly even-handed critiques this season (at least, what we've seen of them in edit, anyway). J-Lo has drawn on her admittedly extensive talents as a performer (note: I did not say "singer") to similarly offer (often) good critiques, and what's more is that unlike Ellen, she's not afraid to tell a contestant something's not working, and unlike Paula, she doesn't seem nuts. Hey, she's won over my Mom, too. Obviously, EVERYTHING changes and becomes much more of a pressure cooker when the contestants start singing for votes, but these early days are showing some promise.

Now, the contestants. These assessments are based on the sometimes very limited packages we've seen on them, so I reserve the right to change my mind at any point during the actual performance shows. As it stands, though, let's call this Idol pre-season rankings, shall we?

First, The Awesome:
Casey Abrams. Do I need to spell it out? He played an upright bass. On the Idol stage. While singing lead. On a Peggy Lee song. I'm chomping at the bit to hear more of this guy.

Paul McDonald. I vaguely remembered this guy's audition, but I loved his lovely, whispery voice on "Blackbird" with Kendra Chantelle. He also rocks that beard.

Tim Halperin. He had a flirty audition with J-Lo, and then went a little under the radar during Hollywood week (which basically means that he wasn't crazy enough to warrant Crazypants Ashley-level screentime. Thankfully). His duet with Julie Zorrilla on "Something" was chock-full of well-channeled vocals and chemistry.

The Good:
Julie Zorrilla. My Idol-watching buddy and I call her Rachel Berry. See my above comments about her lovely duet with Tim. I think I probably agree with J-Lo about her needing to "feel" her songs a bit more, but, to be fair, the auditions and Hollywood week are weird. There's plenty of time for her to "connect with the audience".

Naima Adedapo. I really like her voice. She seems capable of heading into a soulful, Lauryn Hill kind of place, and I'd love for her to do well. That said, I hope she's smart with her song choices. Sometimes people who seem to understand what kinds of "artists" they are fail to give the fickel Idol voters what they want.

Lauren Alaina. This teenager has a fantastic set of pipes and a funny personality. The thing that is annoying about her is not her fault at all, either. If the producers would quit telling us every five seconds that she's our next American Idol, she would almost certainly be one of my favorites.

Kendra Chantelle. Stage name? Yes? I don't know if her voice sounded so nice because it was matched with Paul's during that fantastic cover of "Blackbird" (thank goodness Simon didn't witness it, though! He always seemed to have a strange aversion to songs about birds). I really like what I've heard of her voice so far. Hopefully, there's more of that to come.

Rachel Zevita. She's slightly nuts, right? I have to admit that I, like J-Lo, remembered her crazypants season 6 audition, too. Turns out that Rachel, a classically trained opera singer, has matured a bit since then, and I, for one, have been pleasantly surprised with what I've heard. I hope she's not this season's Sioban Magnus (i.e., weirdo who peaks too soon), though.

Jovany Barreto. LOVE his upper register! I don't envision this guy going very far in Idol, and I think his shirtless audition antics may have already put some viewers off, but his voice is lovely, and I look forward to seeing if he can translate his talent into votes.

Stefano Langone. I'd put this guy at the top of my "Good" category. "Scar guy", as he's mnemonically known in my head, has a nice voice, good stage presence, and a seemingly great personality to match. I'm rooting for him to ride the semi-finals to the top 12.

The Okay:
Robbie Rosin. The only thing keeping this sweet, Aladdin look-alike from the Good or even Awesome categories is the way he adds so much cheese to his vocal styling. I don't know how to explain it, but I know it when I hear it, and to me it sounds like the guy is singing straight out of pop radio c. 1989. I do like that he sang "Gravity" by Sara Barielles during Hollywood Week. Points. He also needs to tame his mullet.

Karen Rodriguez. I like her, and I think she can sing well. I even liked that she sang a song in Spanish, because it's a totally different style than what we're used to hearing on Idol, but I'm going to need her to stop sucking up to J-Lo ASAP. Thanks.

Jacob Lusk. He's got oodles of raw talent, yes, but I'm not convinced that he knows what to do with it. His infamous Hollywood week solo was full of passion and intensity, but it was all over the place (anyone else want to punch Randy in the face for calling it the best Idol performance "EVER"?). With a little training, he could be pretty great, but he's really not there yet.


The Annoying:
Clint Jun Gamboa. Yeah, his personality makes him annoying. I wasn't really a huge Jaycee fan, but Clint was COLD to that poor, lovable kid. Not cool. I'm also not a huge fan of singers failing to sing the melody so they can show off. Ick.

Jordan Dorsey. What a douche. Dot com. I liked his lovely, raspy New Orleans audition ("Over the Rainbow", in case you forgot), but like Clint, he lost any hope at being likable during Hollywood week, when he managed to ruin two groups with his bombastic arrogance. Like it or not, this show is about likability as much as it's about actual talent (just ask Katharine McPhee), and Jordan Dorsey is not likable.

Haley Reinhart. This one is likable enough, I guess, but her voice is annoying. Nothing I can do about that.

Brett Loewenstern. Controversial. I think he's going to do well on this show, and his voice is fine, but his high-pitched talking voice freaks me out, and, call me old-fashioned, but with a haircut, I would almost certainly like him better. I also did not care for his "we're all champions" thing at the end of the eliminations. It shows a lack of self-awareness that puzzles me. How hot are his parents, though?!

Tatynisa Wilson. She's the one that sang that hilarious version of "I Hope You Dance" during Hollywood week, with altered lyrics such as this little gem: "I hope you never lose the wonder of your senses/You get your fuel to eat but always keep that hunger." I'm pretty sure her voice is better than that segment lets on, but what I heard didn't sound nice.

James Durbin. Ugh. Aside from a puzzling sense of personal style (what's with the tails?) and a snarky personality during group night, he's genuinely not appealing as a vocalist. He's the one constantly comparing himself to Adam Lambert, but he is NO Adam Lambert. He lacks any semblance of vocal control, and his "scream" is employed frequently and injudiciously. I am not pleased.

Scotty McCreary. He does realize that he will not be able to sing every song in the Josh Turner catalog on this show, right? In my opinion, the judges were somehow charmed by a kid who's not ready yet. I don't know about you, but I'm slightly creeped out by that voice coming from a babyfaced teenager. Give him, like, five years and let him come back as a man. His kind of voice is too mature for his current self. To be fair, I'm (unfairly) blaming this kid for pushing John Wayne Shulz out of the top 24, but my other points still stand. I think he's going to be this season's John Stevens: a one-trick pony unready for the challenge.


The Jury's Still Out:
Ashton Jones. I'm leaning towards "Good" for this gal, but I haven't heard enough to tell for sure. Two things that could work for her: she's gorgeous, and she's part of the group that chose the most fun group number during Hollywood week ("Hit 'Em Up Style").

Thia Megia. Could either be a surprise contender, or this season's Katie Stevens/Lisa Tucker/Jasmine Trias. "Vocal coach from Hell" Peggi clearly doesn't think it's the former. I hope she proves her wrong.

Lauren Turner. She seems to have a lovely voice, but I have absolutely no recollection of her before she made it into the top 24.

Pia Toscano. Again, I have very little recollection of this girl, but I like how she presented herself to the judges when they gave her the spot. I think she was in one of the group numbers I liked, too.

So there you have it: my exhaustive list of semi-finalists, with a few predictions thrown in for good measure. Usually by this point in the competition, I've found a girl to really root for, but surprisingly, it's all about the guys for me this year. As much as I'd love to see the cute-boy Idol winner streak be broken this year with another viable female artist (I miss Jordin Sparks!), at the moment, the guys have been the most impressive. We shall see, though. A lot can happen in the next few months, and I'm happy to eat my words about these contestants at any time. It's shaping up to be a great season!